about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize