when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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