I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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