clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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