An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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