Kiss
Puke
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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