I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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