Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and she was petting her beer can
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
