So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
