He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
