sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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