We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
