So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
