doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
