your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
