i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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