you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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