3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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