i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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