It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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