Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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