It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
