well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
