I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
