I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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