i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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