Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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