btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
