You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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