Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize