Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
