I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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