You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
