I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
