i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
