Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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