I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
