That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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