With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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