You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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