what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
