Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
MIDGETS
????
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
