I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
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I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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