I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
