Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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