Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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