ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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