What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize