I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
