When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
