I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
