I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
