I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
