We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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