I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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