Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just pee around me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
