I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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