Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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